“In the natural childbirth classes my wife and I took, the birthing process was represented by a hand puppet being pushed through a sock. So at the actual birth I was shocked to see all this blood. The thing I had prepared myself for was a lot of lint.Steve Skrovan
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what you want them to achieve, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.George Smith Patton (Jr.)
“These big birthday parties my friends make for their kids. One of my friends had a surprise party for her child. He was one year old. We all snuck in around the crib, jumped up, and yelled, "Surprise!" He's in therapy now.Rita Rudner
“I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.Rodney Dangerfield
“The women who got implants sued Dow Corning because they felt betrayed by their implant company. Betrayed? "What, you mean I can't put a petroleum by-product in a baggie and insert it in my chest cavity, safely? I am shocked! And betrayed!"Dani Klein