“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.Andy Rooney
“The best way to keep children home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere . . . and let the air out of the tires.Dorothy Parker
“In Berlin, a laundromat was raided because it was a front for a brothel. You know what tipped police off? Men doing laundry.Jay Leno
“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.Abigail Van Buren
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes–and six months later you have to start all over again.Joan Rivers