“A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "Did you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."Jake Johannsen
“We've all done this, because we're so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go "Mooo!" Like we expect the cow to think, "Hey, there's another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?"Garry Shandling
“My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.Greg Proops