“I think it's really important to maintain a positive attitude. It might not solve all your problems, but keep it up long enough and it will piss off enough people to make it worthwhile.Margot Black
“Ran into my doppelgänger at the mall. Tried hard not to bust up laughing when my 4yr old yelled "hey daddy, isn't that YOU?"Will Arnett
“The public appears disposed to be amused even when they are conscious of being deceived.P. T. Barnum
“I gave my cat a bath the other day; they love it. He enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that . . .Steve Martin
“They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.Milton Berle