“There was a 194-car crash in Los Angeles. Luckily the guy in the first car was still able to complete his cell phone call.Jay Leno
“When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter.Roy Rogers
“When I was little my grandfather one Christmas gave me a box of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of Band-Aids, and said, "You two share."Steven Wright
“While driving I had an accident with a magician. It wasn't my fault, the guy came out of nowhere.Auggie Cook