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Black crime tends to be stupid, not crazy.When you hear on the news that somebody chopped off his girlfriend's head, drank her blood, and used her toes to play pool, chances are it was a white guy. An old lady kicked downstairs for her welfare check? A black guy. Someone cut out the old lady's eyes and used them as knickknacks? Definitely a white guy.

Chris Rock

Quotation #13769

About This Quote

Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

Source: Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake...." — Dave Barry

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

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Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Henry S. Haskins

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