“I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity.Mitch Hedberg
“I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.Mitch Hedberg
“I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.Mitch Hedberg