“This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.Conan O’Brien
“Scientists have located the gene that causes alcoholism. They found it at a party talking too loudly.Conan O’Brien
“Are you excited about the opening of the baseball season? Ah, the leather, the pine tar, the rosin–and that's just the hot dogs.Conan O’Brien
“This is exciting. A woman recently had a baby from an embryo that had been frozen for seven years. She said, "I had no idea if I was having a little boy, a little girl–or fish sticks."Conan O’Brien