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Cathy Ladman

“

I'm not on the pill, but I label my Tic Tacs with the days of the week. Makes me feel like I'm in a relationship.

Cathy Ladman

“

Marriage is very difficult. It’s like a 5,000–piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.

Cathy Ladman

“

Kids are cute, babies are cute, puppies are cute. The little things are cute. See, nature did this on purpose so that we would want to take care of our young. Made them cute. Tricked us. Then gradually they get older and older, until one day your mother sits you down and says, "You know, I think you're ugly enough to get your own apartment."

Cathy Ladman

“

Makeup is such a weird concept. I'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror: "Gee, I really don't look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue, I'd be more attractive."

Cathy Ladman

“

My grandmother's ninety. She's dating. He's ninety-three. They're very happy; they never argue. They can't hear each other.

Cathy Ladman

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