“I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.Jarod Kintz
“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.Jarod Kintz
“If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).Jarod Kintz
“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.Jarod Kintz
“I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.Jarod Kintz