“I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.Ed Bluestone
“If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.Elmer Rice
“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.Dave Barry