“How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"Anonymous
“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.Robert Bloch
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.Bob Monkhouse
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.Dave Barry
